Sorry for Hurting You

Sorry for Hurting YouIt’s a terrible feeling to know that you’ve hurt someone you love. Maybe you were in a bad mood, or maybe you were just being thoughtless–no matter why it happened, you need to say, “I’m sorry for hurting you” as soon as possible. But what’s the best way to say, “I’m sorry for hurting you”? Whether you’re telling them in person or writing it in a letter, here are some tips for letting your loved one know you’re truly sorry.

Let them know you understand
It’s one thing to say, “I’m sorry for hurting you,” but it’s even better to your loved one know you understand what you did wrong. Did you forget your girlfriend’s birthday? Did you tell your boyfriend’s friends that he secretly likes soap operas? Make sure you demonstrate that you understand exactly why they’re hurt. Don’t just say something generic like, “I’m sorry for hurting you”—be specific and say, “I’m sorry for hurting you by forgetting your birthday.”

Tell them their happiness is important to you
Nothing says, “I’m sorry for hurting you” like telling someone that their happiness is your top priority. When someone you love disappoints you, the worst part is feeling like they don’t care if you’re happy or sad. So tell them how much it hurts you to know that you caused them pain.

Explain why it happened
Sometimes even the best boyfriends and girlfriends make mistakes. A bad day at work or a simple misunderstanding can make people say and do things they regret, so let your loved one know why you behaved badly. This isn’t the same as making an excuse, as long as you truly make an effort to change your behavior in the future.

Describe your solution
It’s always a good idea to tell your loved one how you plan to make it up to them; just saying, “I’m sorry for hurting you” isn’t always enough. Perhaps you could plan a romantic weekend getaway or cook them a special dinner—whatever it takes to make them feel valued and loved. But make sure you follow through on your promises—it’s hard to believe someone is sorry if they continue to let you down after they’ve said, “I’m sorry for hurting you.”

Need an example? If so, here’s a sample of an “I’m sorry for hurting you” letter that follows all of the advice we shared in this article:

Dearest Emily,

I’m so sorry for hurting you by forgetting about our anniversary. I hope you don’t think that I don’t value our relationship.

The year I have spent with you has been the happiest time of my life—I don’t know how I could have forgotten such an important milestone. I’m sorry for hurting you. Your happiness is so important to me; it breaks my heart to know that I hurt you.

I can’t believe I was so thoughtless. I’ve had such a busy week at work that I just forgot all about our one-year anniversary. I remember when we went on a hot air balloon ride for our six-month anniversary—that’s when I knew I had fallen in love with you.

I know you’ve always wanted to go skiing. I’ve reserved a room for this weekend at a beautiful lodge in Aspen—it would be wonderful to spend the whole weekend with you.

Please forgive me. I love you and I’m sorry for hurting you.


Find out more about Sorry Letter Sample and read about Sorry Letters.

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